Retrograde

My entire life I have always been
half mere man and half pure amazing
holding back one part to promote the other,
situation depending.

It has always been the best for you.
Struggling with myself kept us from the flames.
They can consume the world for all I care
and you are far too thirsty to waste such a commodity on the living.

So we agree then,
We'll continue this macabre waltz,
shifting weight,
avoiding glances,
laughing in the heat of a revealing truth
and shying away to cry another day.

Yes,
I know you always hold me
but I can't tell if it counts if you always do it coldly.

By the way,
when is it a good time
to say I have wasted my entire life?
Never mind.
We will come back to it later.
See?
I put a book mark on it.

If I stir the food on my plate for long enough
perhaps they will not notice that I'm not eating.
I can safely slip the remnants to the mouths
waiting under this table.

I can't shake the feeling
that you're gunna end up being
just a person in my past
that I can look upon and laugh.
However,
Time has shown that in reality
I am the one who is always regretted by them
while I clutch at the straws of yesterdays quest.
But I have digressed,
You were saying?